A Mild Case Of Over-wiping
Most parents can relate to this, especially during the toilet-training years and those just after. Every now and then, there’s a mild case of over-wiping. I wasn’t sure which of my cherubs was responsible, and to be frank, I didn’t much care. What I did care about was the worrying level to which the loo bowl in The Wonderkids’ bathroom filled with a disgusting mix of water, pulpy toilet paper, and whatever it had been used to remove from their angelic behinds.
Seriously. It came to within about a centimeter of overflowing. It drained away slowly each time Superwife or I flushed in the vain hope that repeatedly so doing would eventually unclog the S-bend. We tried vinegar and baking soda. Nup. No dice. After three days, (Thankfully we have two more toilets in the house), I’d had enough.
I tried a toilet brush. Useless. So, I decided to MacGuyver it. I grabbed a fresh garbage bag, stuck my arm into it, and pulled the ends up to my shoulder. Then I braved the depths of The Wonderkids’ toilet. It took a bit of wriggling – my wrist is still a bit sore now – but it worked. I should have done it earlier.
Funnily enough, there was very little in the way of grimacing. I don’t think I even uttered any profanities, except to congratulate myself once I’d succeeded. I was feeling so proud of myself, I had to text Supwerwife to tell her of my amazing accomplishment. According to her I am now officially a legend.
It’s amazing just how kids can erode any squeamishness one might have. The only problem is, next time this happens, as I’m sure it will, I’ll get the gig. I may have accidentally stuck my foot… …er hand, into it.