A Mild Case Of Over-wiping

by sjbgilmour

Most parents can relate to this, especially during the toilet-training years and those just after.  Every now and then, there’s a mild case of over-wiping.  I wasn’t sure which of my cherubs was responsible, and to be frank, I didn’t much care.  What I did care about was the worrying level to which the loo bowl in The Wonderkids’ bathroom filled with a disgusting mix of water, pulpy toilet paper, and whatever it had been used to remove from their angelic behinds.

Seriously.  It came to within about a centimeter of overflowing.  It drained away slowly each time Superwife or I flushed in the vain hope that repeatedly so doing would eventually unclog the S-bend.  We tried vinegar and baking soda.  Nup.  No dice.  After three days, (Thankfully we have two more toilets in the house), I’d had enough.

I tried a toilet brush.  Useless.  So, I decided to MacGuyver it.  I grabbed a fresh garbage bag, stuck my arm into it, and pulled the ends up to my shoulder.  Then I braved the depths of The Wonderkids’ toilet.  It took a bit of wriggling – my wrist is still a bit sore now – but it worked.  I should have done it earlier.

Funnily enough, there was very little in the way of grimacing.   I don’t think I even uttered any profanities, except to congratulate myself once I’d succeeded.  I was feeling so proud of myself, I had to text Supwerwife to tell her of my amazing accomplishment.  According to her I am now officially a legend.

It’s amazing just how kids can erode any squeamishness one might have.  The only problem is, next time this happens, as I’m sure it will, I’ll get the gig.  I may have accidentally stuck my foot… …er hand, into it.

Sam

 

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