So Here’s The Thing…

by sjbgilmour

Renovations.  That single word can spread terror.  Seriously, it’s enough to make grown men and women curl up corners and rock back and forth with their eyes shut.  Wanna make it worse?  Try kitchen renovations.  You can see where this is going, right?

It all started waaay back in September when House Gilmour relocated 650 metres northwest.  The new abode has lots of space, a great driveway, and best of all, it’s relatively new.  We didn’t need to do a thing to it.  It is, after all, only about seven years old.

Then we tried getting used to the kitchen.  The little oven didn’t work properly.  The sink was a mish-mash of two types of sink and a bad tap that didn’t fit properly so it was jammed in at an odd angle.  Worst of all, there wasn’t enough cupboard space.  It had to go.

We got the plans, booked the work, and bought the appliances.  We bought new ovens, a new range-hood, more cupboards, and one bigass mother of a bench-top.  So far, so good.  Then things started to go wrong.

First of all, one of our brand new ovens that arrived turned out to be gas instead of electric, which nobody noticed until after it had been installed.  Instead of calling the supplier straight away, Superwife and I shrugged and decided we’d give this alien technology a go.  After all, how hard could it be?

Then, as chance would have it, Superwife met the guy who sold us the oven at (insert enormous retail chain here), while she was there shopping for something else.  The kind salesman promised he’d swap it over for the right model, even though we’d used it.  Sure enough, about two weeks later, two guys came along to swap over our oven and cook-top.

That’s when they discovered the next big problem.  Now, what I know about fitting ovens and stoves you could fit in an upside-down teaspoon, but these guys were the full bottle.  They discovered that instead of the old oven being fastened to the wall by a bracket, it was held in place by simply drilling a hole through the cabinetry beside the oven, and through the oven itself, so a bolt could hold the oven in place.  Apparently this is a big no-no.  Very dangerous.  Why, we could have blown the oven up, or burned the house down.

Still, the guys did as they were instructed, and installed the new oven, properly fitted with a bracket this time, and took the old one back to (same large retailer).  Then, at around 5.oopm on Friday afternoon, the irate phone call came through from the salesman.  The old oven was ruined.  Its warranty was voided.

So now the big round-robin has begun, and where it will stop, nobody knows…  I’ll keep you all posted.