SJB Gilmour Writes

…and rants and ruminates…

Month: December, 2013

Resolutions = Mr Lonely-heart TV.

There are things I want to do.  There are things I ought to do.  There are also things I just gotta do.   For various reasons, all of which make this little “to do” list vital, 2014 should see some changes in my life.  Some will be subtle.  Others (hopefully) more monumental.  So, without further ado, here they are.

  • Write, read and blog more.

I really need to do this.  My “ideas” folder is growing faster than the ideas themselves can continue to make sense in my brain.  I need to maintain and continue to grow my little platform if ever I’m to make any serious moolah with this writing gig.  This of course requires actual, you know , writing.

Sorry, Mr TV.  I think I’ll be seeing less of you if I’m to accomplish this.

  • Spend more alone-time with Superwife.

We aint getting any younger.  It’s tough with kids, especially when one of them’s such a bad sleeper that we’re alternating nights on the trundle bed in her room.  But hey, we’ve got opposable thumbs; we can figure this out.

Mr. TV, you’re missing out again, mate.

  • Amp up the fitness regime.

I’m already riding and walking heaps, as well as keeping my diet on a short leash.  I must do more.  I need to resume the running, aerobic & weight training side now that I’m finally (relatively) injury free.  I’ve also got to get Miss7 riding her bike.  That’s going to mean I’ll have a fair bit of rather awkward at-an-angle jogging coming up.

Mr. TV, you just can’t catch a break, can you???

  • Go paperless at work – well, as much as possible.  A lot of line sheets and catalogues etc still have to be stored in proper binders.

My filing system is a joke.  Seriously.  My colleagues really do laugh about the piles of disorganised crap on my desk.  We’ve got a bigass Canon printer that will do just about everything but give me a grease-down and a shiatsu.  Letters, bills, statements — all that stuff will have to start being scanned and saved as pdf files.

  • This might sound dorky, but we need to watch our shopper dockets etc for things like “Kids Eat Free” and “Buy One Meal, Get One Free.”

It’s great for the kids to get out occasionally, and also good for us, well maybe not our waistlines, but certainly our headspaces.

Mr. TV, I think you’re going to get quite bored in House Gilmour this year.



So Y U No Write For So Long?

Sorry about that.  I usually hate text-speak, but for some reason today it just seemed appropriate.  To answer the question (I’m wording it properly here) “So Sam, why haven’t you written anything lately?”, here’s the answer.

It’s not complicated, and there’s no major problem.  I just haven’t been in the right mood.  And, it’s not really that I haven’t been writing.  I have, I just haven’t been in the right headspace to put more work out there.  There are lots of little things going on, but mostly, even though I’m functioning just fine, my mood in general has been relatively flat.  I’m not getting enough regular sleep and I’ve just been a bit of a stress-head.

But, thank the gods below, the silly season’s nearly over and things are getting back to normal. And, I can feel my moods lifting.  For the first time in months, I’ve even opened some files and documents at which I couldn’t even bare to look.

If this up-swing keeps going the way I think it will – I’ve got a pretty good handle on my moods by now – 2014 should see me release a number of new works.  I’ve a couple of Pack Coppernick stories almost ready to go, and a grisly cop v serial killer slasher almost done too.  After that, who knows?  I may even have a go at another steamy paranormal piece, or possibly something else entirely.



Safer Thank Peanuts? BULLSHIT!

The memes are flying thick and fast at the moment.  Aside from the usual crap, there’s also Christmas crap.  I can live with that.  But there have also been a lot of pro-marijuana little post-its lately.

Now, I’m not anti-dope.  Let me just say that.  I’m pro.  Legalise it by all means.

But, BUT, don’t do it blindly.  Don’t go believing it’s safe.  The one meme that’s really blowing my skirt up right now is the one that claims there are have been no weed-related deaths.  I call BULLSHIT!

I know from personal experience just how much grass can mess with your head if you’re already prone or vulnerable to depression.  Now before I go on, I’ll just fill you in on the deets.  About four years ago, I got real low.  Sure, I was drinking a lot and I was taking the wrong meds, which weren’t working properly anyway.  My shrinks and many other people want to blame the booze or the medications, but the truth is, neither of those things were the real cause for my problems.  They didn’t help, and might have made them worse, but they weren’t the cause.  The cause came many years before that.

In my mid 20’s, I smoked a fair bit of ganga.  It was fun at first.  I got the giggles a lot.  I watched a lot of Star Trek and ate copious amounts of junk food.  I also went from being moody occasionally, with the odd spell of (I know now) mild highs and lows, to very paranoid and full-tilt bi-polar.

It took a few years, but I was eventually diagnosed (I’ve had about four since – all different and with different meds prescribed accordingly), and I’m now on a good course of magic pills, and managing everything just fine.

So, back to January 2010.  My headspace was seriously bad.  I wasn’t sleeping, and all I saw were shadows everywhere.  I came up with a plan.  It’s only by chance that I’m still alive now.

Now, I’m not drinking.  I’m not smoking anything.  I still have trouble sleeping and were it not for the meds, I’d be bouncing off the walls one minute, in hell the next.  I blame the hooch for tipping my mental condition from being mildly moody to bi-polar.

So, my question to all the rabid pro-dope guys who claim it’s safe is simple and in two parts:  How many other people have been messed up by dope use, and how many of them have committed suicide?  I’d wager it’s far more than those killed by peanuts.


Let’s All Survive Christmas

Yep.  It’s that time of year again.  For many of us, the silly season is fun.  For a lot of us, it’s more expensive and exhausting than fun but the fun element is still there.  For some though, it’s horrid.

Now, for a long time, I’ve been firmly in the Grinch corner.  Bah Humbuggery is an affliction I come down with annually.  But, I’ve got a wonderful family who always manages to pull me out of the chrissy blues.  And I’ve got meds.  They help too.

Some aren’t so lucky.  I came home this afternoon to find my next-door neighbour in tears.  She’s just lost a dear lifelong friend to suicide.  It’s a whole big bucket of awful.  Our neighbour’s Christmas is gonna be shit and her friend’s surviving family’s will be even worse, as will their every Christmas from now on.

Then of course there’s the actual death of the person concerned.  Just so awful.

So guys,  please take it from someone who’s been there.  To those prone to, or who may suffer from depression, Christmas and other celebratory times, can be fucking awful – so awful that no amount of wonderful family or magic pills can part the clouds to let in the sunshine.

If you are feeling down, please reach out.  Please.  Call someone.  Text or message your friends and family.  If that’s too hard/embarrassing or otherwise not an option, call a help line.  Hell, reach out to your online friends, even if you’ve never met them in real life.  Just remember, it’s okay to tell.

As for the rest of you who aren’t a suicide risk, how about sharing the love?  It won’t cost you a cent, and you might just save a life.   If you know someone who gets the blues occasionally, check-in with them.  As with those I just mentioned above, it’s okay to ask.

There.  That’s my little rant.  Let’s all have a happy and safe silly season, yeah?  If we can’t enjoy it, how about we just survive it and then we can get on with the next eleven months of 2014 in peace.



A Tough Decision

Now anyone who knows me, knows most of the time I prefer dogs to people.  Actually, I prefer most animals to people, but that’s another story.  This story is about one dog in particular.  Her name is Poppy.  We picked her up from a rescue shelter about a year ago.  She’s a ridgeback/mastiff/dane cross, and she’s big.  Very big.  She’s also quiet, friendly and funny. But, she’s strong and oddly resistant to just about all forms of training when it comes to pulling on the lead.  Well, a head-halter works, but getting that thing on her every time we want to go for a walk is a major battle.

She’s also destructive.  To date, she’s destroyed several dog beds, numerous toys and potted plants, the netting around the trampoline, a bike helmet and the attached GoPro camera housing.  She’s chewed the barbecue, the deck, the steps, the hand-rail around the deck, laundry door cupboards, two doggie doors (those things are supposed to be indestructible), an entire set of outdoor furniture, the side-wall of the kids’ sandpit, and she’s also destroyed one of those big exercise ball things.

We could live with all that.  It just adds to her special Poppy-ness.  But, she also jumps up on people, and no amount of training has been able to cure her of this.  We were almost able to cope with that too – until she jumped up on Miss7.  Now she wasn’t hurt, but she did get a fright.  After all, the dog outweighs her by about 25kg’s.  So now, we’re going to have to say goodbye to our beloved massive hound.  It’s sad, but also a relief.  I can’t take the risk of something worse happening to either my kids or indeed anyone else.  Hopefully her next family will be kid free and so she’ll not present a risk to anyone.