Destruction On Four Legs

by sjbgilmour

Soooo. Today we drove from Melbourne to Adelaide so Superwife and the Wonderkids could spend some Easter time with Babcia and Djadek (Grandma and Grandpa). I then flew back to Melbourne.

Long day. Upon my return after this long, long day, I found our new dog Poppy had broken in through the shut and wedged laundry door – trashing the kid/dog gate in the doorway and pushing aside the very heavy wood box we’d wedged against the door as extra security.

Outside and all over the house, I found:

From the front bathroom:
2 of the kids’ toothbrushes
1 tube of toothpaste
1 bath toy
1 hairbrush

From the main bathroom:
The bin and contents strewn all over the house
1 toilet brush

From the master bedroom:
1 Converse runner
1 pillow
(both intact, thank fuck.)

From and in the kitchen:
1 (now broken) plate
1 fruit stand, now leaning like the tower of pizza and fruit scattered here there and everywhere.
1 plastic drink bottle that HAD BEEN IN THE SINK! – now chewed beyond repair.
2 puddles on the tiles (Christ, I LOVE having tiles)

From Miss3’s bedroom:
1 fluffy toy

From the recycling pile
1 newspaper
several works of art from the Wonderkids’ craft the day before (yes they were going in the bin anyway, but still…)

In the spare room:
1 pile of shit – I swear it was a fucking mountain.

There might be more but it’s dark outside and I can’t face any more tonight. I swear, if I was drinking these days, I’d toast her wickedness and my consternation. As soon as I can, I’m hitting the hardware store for a fucking deadbolt to that laundry door.


I also found:
1 pack of baby wipes,
1 bread bag (possibly from the recycling???)
2 more fluffy toys – both slobbered, but otherwise intact,
1 hand-towel,
1 spatula from the kitchen bench.