I Had A Cybercrush

by sjbgilmour

Cybercrushes.  We’ve all had ‘em.  In the eleven years I’ve been with Superwife, I’ve had a number of celeb/cyber crushes.  I’m sure to have more.  Nothing wrong with it, and even if there was, there’s bugger-all I can do about it.  It happens.

When Superwife and I met, I was hanging out each week for the next re-run of Becker, so I could ogle Shawnee Smith who played Linda.  Then came Jeri Ryan who played Seven Of Nine on Star Trek Voyager.  Then there was Pauley Perrette who plays Abby on NCIS.  For a while there I was a little in awe of Tim Roth on Lie To Me.  I had a thing for the queen of gastro-porn, Nigella Lawson for a season or two.   Billie Piper on Doctor Who really floated my boat…  Actually, I have to admit David Tennant did too.  That’s it for on-screen crushes, and right now, I’m in-between fascinations.  Must have something to do with the non-ratings period we’re in leading up to Christmas.

But not all my crushes have been those who grace the screen.  I’ve had a few literary ones as well.  Richelle Mead really had me going there for a while.  So much so that I pounced on her Georgia Kincaid succubus series as eagerly as her characters preyed upon their victims.

Then there was another writer.  I won’t name her.  We follow each other on Twitter, and well, it’d just be weird.  I’m sure she knows I’m a fan…  Or at least, I used to be.  Don’t get me wrong, she’s got a book coming out soon.  I’ve pre-ordered it.  I’ve even set aside a whole day to disappear by myself just so I can read it.  I’ll probably review it on this blog – and I’d like to think I’m adult enough to be able to critique her work without getting personal about her.  I’m just a bit put out with her, and that of course is the end of the whole crush thing.

You see, while I never had any real ‘adult’ fantasies about her, (which is odd considering like most males, I think about sex every three minutes and after all, she is one hot tomale), I did admire her.  I looked up to her.  Then I began noticing a few oddities.  Little niggling things that suggested something wasn’t quite right.

She’d been publicly renouncing her old modelling gig for years, saying she’s an ex-model, and whinging a bit that it was hard for her to get it through the public’s thick heads that she was more than just an air-head clothes-horse.

Then she posed for a couple of adult magazines.  Then she took a gig with a local fashion brand.

Ex-model?  Umm..  No.

Now she’s on the warpath about equality for women etc.  That’s great.  More power to her.  I agree with just about everything she says.

But, I also believe there will never be equality for women while the fashion and cosmetics industries continue to bombard women and young girls with the message that they must dress provocatively to be accepted and that their faces aren’t good enough to be seen in without make-up and that they must be a certain body-shape.  For a woman to be fighting for equality for women and to be working in an industry that actively fights against equality for women – well sorry folks, it just doesn’t wash.

Yes, that’s right.  The fashion industry does not push for equality for women.  Quite the reverse.  It damages the collective psyche of women across the globe, and has done for decades.

How can a woman think of herself as equal or even superior (as many of them should), when she’s constantly bombarded with the message that she’s not up to muster?  She’s too fat.  Her hair’s not right.  Her skin’s got to be painted to look natural…  God help me.  Men aren’t under that kind of pressure, and that gives us an advantage right off the bat.  We’re more confident.  We’re already winning, and women themselves are making that happen by buying into the hype.

My ex-crush should either be a model and shut up about equality for women, or quit sitting in front of a lens presenting herself as an example what women should look like – and of course either way, continue to write her great books.

PS:  It was her writing that first got me interested in her, and I’d probably still enjoy it even if she does something really silly like becoming a holocaust-denier – which we all know would be completely bat-shit crazy, out of character and wouldn’t happen in a million years; I just used it as an example.

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